I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm really busy with my period
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