At least make sure they are 18
Why
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Randomize
