She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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