Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
