There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
