please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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