Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
