what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
