woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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