Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
