Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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