It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
