We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
