ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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