I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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