just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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