before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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