Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
