ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
handjob tips. give me some.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
