wanna go halves on a baby?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
