don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
