You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
