I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
