Sorry, I don't speak sober.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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