You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
