Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Randomize
