I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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