im holly from the hills drunk
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
