and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
