I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
