A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
