dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
