when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
