Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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