I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
