She is in my trunk
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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