you would pick up someone in the library
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
