if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
