If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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