So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
