dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
