I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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