talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
