So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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