I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
