I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
