The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
