I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
