We won't sleep together?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
