Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
