watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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