There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
